EPISODE ONE
The Emergency

CHAPTER 1

“The Poltergeist”

On Tuesday 12 December 2069, the city was plunged into chaos. Sam was lifting the mini Christmas tree and Joe was putting the star on top, when the radio announced: “It will snow until the 22nd of January.”

“Cool,” said Sam.

“Yeah,” replied Joe.
And that’s when things got weird. A chair flew and hit Sam in the knees. “Ow!” he complained, “You threw a chair at me!”  At the same time, the plastic star Joe was holding began pulsing and Sam and Joe were thrown backwards! Joe grabbed the plastic star on impulse, he didn’t know why he just felt like he would need it.

The weather forecast was then interrupted by the S.C.P. Foundation, “One of our newly contained SCPs: SCP-19001, aka The Poltergeist, has breached containment. This was caused by Test Subject-1986 attempting to leave after feeling watched. Doctor Alexander recommends that you nail down all loose items and stay away from large objects. 19001 is an Apollyon class, this means that it has enough potential to destroy the world if it is not dealt with and * static interference * and it can move at speeds of * sound of an explosion * RUN! * static interference *”

“Um, Joe,” stammered Sam, “You should look outside.” The Poltergeist had possessed the snow! A massive snow giant that was ten metres tall with big, icy shoulders and big, strong hands was stomping down the road. Then it saw them, but they were prepared: they had grabbed two fans and set them to blow hot air – you can do that with fans in the future. Just as the snow giant was about to grab them, they jumped on to his arm and blew hot air at it! The snow melted; The Poltergeist could not possess it anymore! He rose out of the snowy patch and said, “Hey! You melted my evil snowman!” Sam and Joe ran outside and there was The Poltergeist! “You fools! I will find you and I will end you!” it said in a ghostly voice before it disappeared.

“We need to go to the nearest S.C.P. Foundation base!” said Joe.

“Why?” asked Sam.

“Because it is the only place we can get ghost fighting equipment like EMF meter things and ghostbuster backpacks!” said Joe, running to their car and setting a course on the Satnav for an airport.

“Okay! let’s go!” So, they drove in their electric Tesla to the nearest airport, where they secretly stole a helicopter.

“Do you know how to fly helicopters?” asked Joe.

“Once or twice, I flew a helicopter,” Sam explained, surprising his friend.

“Then we’ll just fly until we see an S.C.P. Foundation base.”

ONE HOUR LATER: “Leo?” said Sam into his watch that also worked as a phone.

“’Sup?” replied Leo.

“We need some classified coordinates.”

Sam and Joe were immediately sent the location of the nearest S.C.P. Foundation base. It took hours flying over France but they finally found Site-06-3. “Here we are!” announced Sam. “I have an idea!”

“Does it include the explosives you made me bring?”

“No! Okay, yes! Now let’s throw them at the roof!” They just strolled in and found the Armory. “Where’s the ghost fighting section?”

“I think I found it!” answered Joe.

Then they geared up! Sam and Joe wore ghost busting backpacks and Sam had a paranormal detector. “The manual says that it’ll detect any invisible object or beings,” Sam explained.

 

Joe tripped over some rubble caused by The Poltergeist’s rampage. Dazed and on his knees, he saw a photo of SCP 096’s face on the floor! Joe cried out in worry and disbelief.
“What is it?” asked Sam, picking up the photo.

“No! Don’t!” shouted Joe … too late.

“Uh oh we have to leave. We got what we need! Hurry!”

“Eek! It’s right behind us!” panted Joe.

There’s the helicopter! Hurry up!” yelled Sam.

 

They started it up and rose into the air. SCP 096 tried to stop, stumbled, and did eight forward rolls. Sam and Joe flew back to the airport and returned the helicopter before anyone became suspicious or even reported it missing to the police.

“What about 096?” Joe asked when they arrived back at the airport.

“He should land somewhere in Paris or the English Channel or someplace like that,” explained Sam, a little unsurely.

 

CHAPTER 2

“The Sewer and The Mutants”

“Well, look who’s back! Ha ha ha!”

Sam and Joe turned around and saw The Poltergeist! He looked very carefully at a snow clearer truck and there was a sound like a Star Wars light sabre noise emitting from his head. He used his telekinesis to rip the truck open rapidly and powerfully; the scraping and scratching was deafening. Next, he threw all the snow at them, but they were prepared! They had stood above a manhole when they had seen what The Poltergeist was doing. This meant they could descend into the sewers and start walking to the next exit.

 

They were nearly there when he heard a robotic voice saying: “Turning Off Water Flow… Readying Incinerator Systems… Sewer Clearance in 10 seconds.”

“Incinerator?! This whole place will fill with fire!” panicked Joe.

“There’s the next exit!” yelled Sam.

“Locking manholes,” announced the computer.

“Oh no!” said Joe. “There’s no way out!”

“Wait, I have an idea!” said Sam. “Keep to the sides!” Luckily, they survived, because when the department built those pipes, they took short cuts and didn’t actually get the incinerator to fill the entire sewer system with fire. You know, budget cuts and tax and stuff like that. Sam and Joe had only a few moments of relief before the sewer started filling up with water!

 

Luckily, Joe saw a door hidden away, they rushed inside and found themselves in a room. They slammed the door behind them, their shoes were soaked. It turned out it was an S.C.P. Containment Cell! One of the walls had a large glass window. On the other side there were ugly, slimy, abominable sewer mutants! One was looking at Sam and Joe with an annoyed look on its face. Three of the four corners and walls of the cell had lime and dark green stains and splats on them. The other gross creatures were just walking, slithering, crawling about.

 

Sam and Joe looked at the computer console there was a screen with dots showing the monsters’ locations in the room. The one closest to Sam and Joe had its dot turn red and it said: ‘Enraged.’  It made a single crack in the glass, whilst neither Sam nor Joe was looking!

“Why would they have an S.C.P. cell here?” wondered Joe.

“Because of all the sewer mutants! It’s hard to move them a long distance, so they just put them here,” replied Sam.

“You say that like it makes a lot of sense but it’s lucky they do. Now we can wait here while the water drains away but we should probably stay on this side of the reinforced glass, because there are sewer monsters on the other side,” suggested Joe.

“Ugh! they look nasty. I guess that’s because they’re from the sewer,” said Sam “Ah! No! One is breaking through! Wait! Here! I saw this on TV once! Shoot them with this, it’ll make a blue bubble, anything inside will go still temporarily!” said Sam, tossing Joe a stasis rifle.

And it worked! Joe shot one of the monsters, a blue fish-like one. A blue, swirling bubble appeared. The monster was stopped mid-jump over a broken piece of glass.

“Yes! A perfect hit!” said Joe, triumphantly. Sam aimed at a large, green sludgy monster and fired, it hit it, but one of its tentacles was outside of the bubble! He blasted that piece with a well-aimed hit and it stopped in its tracks.
Whilst the monsters were frozen, Sam and Joe peered out of the glass panel in the door and saw all the water had drained out of the sewer. They escaped the room and carefully closed the door, so as not to let the monsters escape.

“Phew! That was so hard,” Joe panted.

“Not just hard, almost impossible! Now, let’s get to the surface. It’ll be nice to get some fresh air again,” said Sam, opening the manhole. As he looked up, a square metre’s worth of snow fell onto his face. “Gah!” he yelled. “Snow!”

“Look out! It’s a merciless onslaught!!” screamed Joe. “Oh, wait. We’re all right.”

“Please help me out from under here!”

“Oh, yes,” said Joe, pulling his best friend out.

“Well now the snow is out of the way we can finally get out of here!”

 

Note: The writer was also happy to end this chapter because he had become bored of writing about a sewer battle!

 

CHAPTER 3

“The Ghost’s Capture”

 

Joe climbed out of the sewer with Sam (who still had cold snow burning into his shoulder, which he then brushed off) following after him. They both took in a deep breath of clean air.
You should remember that they had been wearing the ghost-fighting equipment the entire time. It was quite heavy and a bit hard to run in, so they took it off temporarily and sat down.
“Hey guys!” said a familiar voice. They both stood up and twirled around. If there was a Standing Up and Twirling Around competition in the Olympics, I’m sure they’d win.

 

The voice turned out to belong to their good friend, Leo. “Leo? I thought you moved to Cornwall!” grinned Joe.

“Yeah, but you sent me the location of a dangerous place. So, I came to help and I brought these with me!” Leo pressed a button on his iPhone, which he had modified, and a robot dog bounded out of his car. It was an E-dog model 5 (Yes, robot dogs are a common thing in the future, maybe to keep real dogs happy while owners are away?) He had also modified this to be a Military-Grade Robot Attack Dog, well that’s the way he described it. He was also carrying laser guns from the SCP Foundation base. A label on them read:

Controls

Hold trigger to shoot.

Move to aim.

Affects everything, even phantasms.

 

“Fair enough,” said Joe. “Hey, look at our star for our Christmas tree. It’s so weird, it …” At that moment, it lit up again and this time only Leo was thrown back. However, as he was picking himself up a giant yellow skip filled with things leftover from a building site landed near them with such force that it crashed through the ground and into the sewers. The same sewers that Sam and Joe had just escaped. They watched open-mouthed as The Poltergeist floated away, mumbling: “There. Ha! That must’ve got them!”

“Cool, you can tell us about your stuff later, OK?” said Leo, raising a laser gun.
“No,” said Sam, “We need some sleep.”
And they slept. Joe thought it was a bad idea, so he decided to sleep in the half of their house that was still stable.

 

The next day, Sam heard groans of annoyance but was in a state of half-sleep and thought he was imagining it. The sound got closer and he jolted upright, without waking the others. He peeped out of the remains of their house and saw The Poltergeist. He was wandering around, looking for Sam and Joe! He muttered, “Whatshisname and Whatshisname? Where are you? I want to say sorry! Ok, just kidding, I want to take revenge on you!”

Sam woke the others and signalled for them to remain silent, before poking his laser around the corner and blasting The Poltergeist.
“Aha!! There you are! And I believe these…” said The Poltergeist, using his telekinetic powers to turn the lasers around, “… are yours.!” He fired them at Sam, Joe and Leo! Now The Poltergeist knew where they were, they raced to hide in the remaining part of the ground floor instead.

“Leo! Give me your Robo-Dog’s controls!” gasped Sam.

“Well, okay,” said Leo, confused.
Sam moved the robot dog with the joystick and made it jump through The Poltergeist. As it passed through him, the screen that showed what the robot dog saw went all blurry, because The Poltergeist is translucent.

“Grrrrr! I’ll destroy that infernal thing!” he said.

“Nooooo!” Leo tried to warn his robot dog but Joe put his hand over his mouth to stop him from letting The Poltergeist know where they were.

“Wait, Leo,” mouthed Sam, as the robot dog ran towards their ghost-fighting gear, which they hadn’t picked up. Just as The Poltergeist was going to blast the robot dog as far into space as he could, Sam made it press the big, round, green “ON” button on the Ghost-Sucker-Upper 5000. (There are not five thousand models of it, S.C.P. Foundation just called it that.)  The Poltergeist’s telekinetic power missed the dog and sent a port-a-loo into deep space. It burned up on entry to an alien planet’s atmosphere until it was just a toilet. It interested the aliens and inspired a new religion amongst that alien race, but that is another story.

So, back to Earth, where The Poltergeist was being pulled into the Ghost-Sucker-Upper 5000! However, after lots of struggling, he escaped from the powerful machine’s range!
“Did you really think it would be that easy?!” he said, proudly.
“Well, yeah,” said Sam, “But you’ve only made it a little harder!” and shot some lasers that surprised The Poltergeist so much that he jumped (or the floating equivalent of jumping) backwards and was captured by the Ghost-Sucker-Upper 5000!

“Rrrg! I can’t believe I fell for that!” said the muffled voice of The Poltergeist.

“I can!” announced Leo, proudly, “Because my robot dog that I made already saved London and the rest of the world!”

“Well, a bit I guess, but it only distracted The Poltergeist,” scoffed Sam.

“Stop arguing!” Joe interrupted, “Let’s party because we’ve saved the day!” And they all agreed.

But while the trio celebrated in the hot evening sun, a tall, white and red, angry figure dragged himself out of the sea and onto the warm sands of the beach just down the road – determined to destroy the one who saw his face.

It was The Shy-Guy.

 

CHAPTER 4

“Getting Recruited”

 

SCP 096 charged at Sam, Joe and Leo with full speed, flashing past the recently broken, dilapidated buildings. Joe saw, grabbed his friends’ arms and pulled them behind a pile of rubble, bricks and other rubbish left over from their fight with The Poltergeist. SCP 096 sped up like a Lamborghini racing off a ramp. He seemed to fly over Sam, Joe and Leo,
and landed on his head with a bump.

“How did that not kill him?!” asked Sam.

Leo thought back to a poster he’d seen when raiding the SCP Foundation base for weapons.
“Nothing can, once the …”  Leo was interrupted by a man’s voice coming from an amplifier:
“Step away from SCP 096 with your hands in the air!”

They all instantly put up their hands and looked to where the voice had come from and it was a matt black CH-49 Chinook helicopter, with a shiny white SCP Foundation logo painted on the side. As SCP 096 recovered, standing up, the man in the helicopter pointed a gun at the group and pulled the trigger.

 

The trio ducked behind the mound of rubble, but no grenade, laser or bullet hit anything. Instead, when they stepped out, they were greeted with a pulsing noise all around them. They were in a force field. Then, they heard a sound like hollow wood being kicked, but deeper. Looking around, they saw that SCP 096 had clonked his head on the force field and then it disappeared!

 

Sam, Joe and Leo ran towards a chain ladder lowered by the man in the helicopter. They climbed it in turn and flew for a long time until a small grey dot appeared on the western horizon. However, instead of flying on, the man landed the helicopter.
“Why have we stopped?” asked Joe.
“You don’t talk. We will be asking the questions here,” the mysterious man replied. His tone of voice signalling to them both that, if it wasn’t already clear, this was not a joke.

 

They followed him out of the Chinook and into a nearby cave. It was definitely man-made, as if it had been dug out of the side of the hill. There they were led into a black Ford Landroll X34, where a driver was already waiting, and were driven out past the Chinook and west. The powerful caterpillar treads of the Landroll leaving deep tracks in the dirt, small stones were crushed to pieces by each tread segment, as Sam, Joe and Leo all thought the same thing: “Where are we going?”

In the back of his mind, Joe also thought, “Who gave them such a swanky off-road car?” Excitement, fear and confusion burned deep inside them as they sat in the Ford with the engine humming and, because the soundproof glass prevented them from hearing what the people in the front were saying, they soon fell asleep.

 

When they awoke, the driver was speaking into a mic that had been concealed in the middle of the steering wheel. They drove into a garage, exited the car and walked through a decontamination room of some sort (using none of the equipment) and into a long extravagant hallway. They passed seven doors, each had a sign next to it: Safe, Euclid, Keter, and Thaumiel. The others had less exciting names: Garage 2, Garage 3 and Media Control Offices.

 

Finally, they arrived at the Conferences and Meetings Room. Entering, they were faced with a man with grey (but not old) hair and a grey business suit. He had a grey everything and sat at the end of a long table. Then he spoke. He had a deep, wobbly voice and got straight to the point: “Due to your luck and your capturing of the SCP Nineteen Thousand and One, we want you to join the S.C.P. Foundation.”
“WHAT?!?!” yelled Leo, the words catching in his throat awkwardly, “Make me forget I was here, but I can’t work here! I don’t wanna DIE!”
“Yeah! What he said! chorused Sam and Joe (nearly) in unison.
“Not exactly… Sorry if I am wrong but we have reason to believe that you have each come into contact with a certain, small, shiny … ”
“Plastic star!” exclaimed Joe, the words louder than he expected.
“Yes, it is an SCP we have been searching for for a long time now.  If it is the star I am thinking of, I presume it explodes?”
Leo interrupted, “Yes! But I think that it can only hit a person once, and it didn’t hurt us. It was the fall that really hurt!”
“Exactly! It brings infinite, unbeatable invulnerability and luck to anyone who is hit by the explosion. You’re nearly invincible!”

At this they were all pretty excited, Joe had started squeaking, Leo was jiggling up and down in his seat and Sam had to bite his lip to stop himself laughing out loud!
“Our intel suggests that you two,” he indicated towards Sam and Joe (Sam blushed, Joe’s eyes darted to the floor and his excited smile transformed into a nervous and embarrassed grin. This always happened when he was pointed at.), “Work at McDonalds, and you,” gesturing at Leo this time, “Have lost your job as an air traffic controller. So…”
“We’ll take the job,” Sam quickly decided.
“Ok. You start tomorrow. Ah, by the way, my real name is classified but you may address me as Stuart Dale. You will receive an immediate promotion to become joint O-9 Commanders.”
“How do the ranks work?” Sam asked, putting his hand up, looking and sounding like a schoolboy.
“Oh, the highest ranks are easy! I’m O-10 you will become O-9s, then there’s O-8, O-7, O-6, O-5 and so on, and then it just goes into other stuff, Security Officer is the lowest in Containment and Assistant is the lowest in Science.”
“OK,” Sam answered, still a little baffled but not wanting to ask anything else.
“Since you’re O-9s you will have a lot of power over the Foundation and I’ll be putting you in the Containment group, ‘cos, like, you’re invincible. Okay, bye. See you later!” Dale said hurriedly, pointing a device like a Holo-Vision (TV but a hologram) at them.

 

The next thing they knew, each of their hover-chairs was falling, each in its own little, pitch-black vertical tunnel! None of them had time to react, they simply fell. After about 18 seconds of free fall the hover systems in the chairs had re-activated and were floating contentedly in a rather odd monorail station. The usual adverts for the latest robots, music and clothing were replaced with laminated posters in metal frames. WE DIE IN THE DARK SO THAT OTHERS CAN LIVE IN THE LIGHT, one said. Another: REMEMBER: 096’s FACE WILL SEAL YOUR FATE and 173: DON’T BLINK. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT.

 

They looked round in silence until they heard a burst of gunfire and screaming with some part-person, part-frog, of all things, growling! Immediately following this, a large group of purple-green zombies in combat gear with machine guns slung over their shoulders ambled, crawled and tumbled down the stairs on either side of the platform! Most of them had what would, on a person, be a horrific collection of injuries. One had an arm hanging limp, the one after it crawled along with a missing leg and bloodshot eyes.

“Neep! Thats not good!” shouted Sam.
“Everyone in the Monorail!” bellowed Leo “NOW!” So, they clambered over and under each other to get through the pair of sliding glass doors, the fastest of the zombies just behind them. Sam pulled Joe through the doorway with just seconds to spare, because just after Joe was inside the doors slammed shut.

CHAPTER 5

“A New Life”

They had no idea where the Monorail was going and, even after the incident with the zombies, they soon got bored and settled down to a game of Augmented Reality Monster Bash (ARMB). It looked as if they had travelled miles. They had and were now speeding through the English countryside. It soon stopped outside what looked like a luxury resort, all it was missing was customers. It turned out that the whole place was newly built and, as they ran around, they found, on the kitchen table, a note. It read: ‘The costs of this mansion will be equally taken from your large salaries.’

“Well,” Sam said, “I guess this is a new life.”
Later, they were eating dinner made of ingredients that had been delivered by a drone, when they heard on the radio:
“… and the police have finally caught up with the infamous hacker and scam caller known only as: Raider. They are awfully close to decoding their location. Now onto other news, Skydive Industries experimental space cruisers have sky “rocketed” in funding. Ha! see what I did there Skydive Industries is a …”

 

The END!!!!!

(Of this episode!)